and now…

I’ve been losing in the battle against temptation. It’s as if  sometimes I can only feel the animal instincts sway me.

and now, a great mix!

breaths incubating

when I think
when my thoughts are conquered by you alone
it’s as if you are ink
in water slowly descending
covering all
consuming every corner of the vastness of my energies
but with your heat–
that slowly rising, blinding warmth
deafening my speech
like an endless light
breaking through the fog of my breaths
I lose control of my steps
the paces of my mind
quickening

concert rat

Ever since I went to my first show at age 11, I knew there was something I desperately loved about concerts that just brought me extreme joy. There have been a few things I feel I was born to do, conceived to achieve, you could say; going to concerts is definitely one of them.

I don’t know what happened to me during high school because I basically fell out of the music loop for a few years but I decided I wouldn’t leave myself for want anymore. All of which leads me to say, hooray! I’m going to a show tonight! I’m going to see Korn, who was, very coincidentally, my first concert so many years ago. I didn’t think I’d be going up until two days ago the universe laid out a nice stone path for me. And with an old friend, no less. It’s such a mindfuck, in the most wonderful way, in this case, the way people you have known show up in your day out of the blue.
I own a couple of pairs of pants like this. I haven’t worn them in centuries, but tonight may or may not be just such the occasion for their night on the town. Probably not.

My dreams have been visiting me again!! Multiple times throughout the day, I’ll have a glimpse into a dream I had the night before. I can’t explain how happy I am about it.  man, it must sound like the most ridiculous thing out of context but it’s a simple set-up: I hadn’t been able to remember my dreams for months.  When you stop having them you realize how valuable dreams’ insights can be and so getting them back has been one of the more pleasant things to happen lately.

I think I have to start applying rubber grips to my palms. My body can so not afford how butterfingery I am; I’ve got more bruises on me than a domestic abuse victim with a Lifetime movie contract. The last one I got is part bruise-part surface scratch-part fatal lesion on the skin above my sternum. I’m considering asking my boss to baby-proof the workplace.

Also considering evicting the fatigue/lethargy aches living in my head this week. At least I’m being productive. It’s so like life to give one the most inspiration to create art when one is most miserable.

Check out a wonderful cartoon that restores my faith in humanity.

eu quero aprender capoeira

ever since I went to shoot a capoeira class, I’ve been dying to go back. I actually met a man the other day who was a jiu-jitsu enthusiast and I think it was watching him verbally make love to the sport that reminded me how much I want to learn this.

Bassnectar – Magical World feat Nelly Furtado

here, something worth listening to. The person who got me into Bassnectar started me with this one. “I live my life by the moon”, she says.

emotional jelly fish

The problem with being spontaneous is that it’s like a big “fuck you” to your future self.

I let myself to be spontaneous because “life is short” and “today is the only day you have!”. Because I believe in not having regrets, because everything is a learning experience, blah blah blah. But, I’m an idiot. All I’m really doing when I’m following my heart in the moment is making an appointment with workaholism and depression drinking in the near future.

I read the words, “love like you’ll never get hurt” the other day. I wish I could write a book on how stupid I am for even considering doing that one for a single second.

Needless to say, all romantic comedies have been re-banned in my house.

one more new vice

So I, addictive personality owner that I am, have decided that my new vice, in addition to coffee, is electronic dance music. It’s been a fond love that has been growing all year and I’ve found that when both loves are combined, I reach nirvana every time.

I’ve been growing nervous about exposure on the internet. I’m worried I underestimate how many people read this; I mean, I have been told I make people who don’t ordinarily sit and read, politely skim through my rants. So I start to think, “then I’ll practice censoring myself”, which is always followed swiftly with, “then what the hell is the point if I have to censor myself?”

And then, “but I can’t just stop writing. I need the ethic of this blog to make way for all the writing I want to do professionally. And I’ll start hallucinating of shooting random passers-by if I don’t have this as an outlet.”

So I guess without my knowing, writing has also been my vice for a very long time. And then I think, “damn, don’t I sound like such a stereotypical writer, moving from vice to vice for inspiration.” And then I know I must be on the right path if I’m wearing the costume before I’ve accepted that I got the part.

tortillera

Time.com

I. am. horrified. Now you have to be a subscriber of time to the latest read full-length articles online. Dammit, now I have to go back to speed-reading the magazines at gas stations.